Musings of a Boy Left Behind
by manyissues101
Summary: -Tiduscentric- And you’re somewhere in between all of them, thinking about loyalty among friends.


You wonder if Riku, Sora, and Kairi are going to do something dangerous

You wonder if Riku, Sora, and Kairi are going to do something dangerous. They've been huddled around each other lately (and even though that's normal, now there's a sort of foreboding sense about them, Riku especially), planning something in secret. It's been that way forever, really, and it never quite irked you until now. Now Riku is still the strongest, but he's grown distant, and Sora is even more excitable, and Kairi looks apprehensive. You wonder if maybe they're making a mistake, because you really don't think they're doing anything too smart, but you're too afraid to confront Riku about it because he's scary these days.

"Tidus," Selphie calls to you, "have you heard the legend of the Paopu fruit?"

Of course you have, you want to tell her, but at the same time you don't, because you want to show Riku, Sora, and Kairi that you guys can have fun secrets without them. So you sit and listen to the same legend for the umpteenth time, and begin to think about loyalty among friends.

0--0

Maybe if you train hard enough you can beat Sora, who can beat Wakka if he tries hard, but never Riku, because Riku is perfect and everyone knows it. You think Sora and Kairi lucky, because Riku's their friend, not so much yours anymore, and he can do anything. You just have Selphie, who tells the same hopeless romances again and again, and Wakka, who's too laid-back to do anything except play ball and explore. Nonetheless, you're willing to make do. If Riku, Sora, and Kairi think that they can be an entity by themselves, then you three will just have to make your own. And you can't help being perturbed by the fact that you're more a Sora than a Riku.

You watch Sora run around looking for logs, and cloth, and rope, and you challenge him to a fight. "Sora, feeling lucky today?" Lucky was when Sora could beat Wakka, or when Tidus could beat Sora. Wakka could beat everyone but Riku (and consequently named champion because everyone knew that Riku was in a class all his own) and was lucky when he could score again Tidus in ball. Selphie could never beat anyone, nor play sports, so lucky for her was when someone listened to her stories. Riku was always lucky, and Kairi was perfect, too, and therefore radiated luck.

You wonder what would happen if someone beat Riku. The whole islet's social system would need revamping, Selphie told you, because it's all based on who can fight the best, who can tell the best stories, and Kairi being perfect. You mention that such doesn't give anyone else a chance, but Selphie says that that's the way it is, and that you shouldn't question social order. You leave, wondering what life would be like without Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

0--0

You've done something horrible (no matter how many people say, "Tidus, you've done nothing wrong!") and you'll never forgive yourself. Sora, Riku, and Kairi are gone, vanished, no longer on the islands. Your life without them is just beginning, and getting off to quite the ghastly start. Your parents won't let you go out the islet, and everyone knows that there's no other good place to fight. So you, Wakka, and Selphie sit in your bedroom the rest of the day. You wonder where your friends went, and Selphie revamps the islet's social system. Now it's Wakka, then you, then Selphie, but with no one over another because Riku and Kairi were the only ones that were ever perfect.

You think that maybe if you train hard enough you can beat Wakka, and then you'll be the top fighter. But it really doesn't seem to matter anymore, because you made your friends disappear. And now you can't leave the main island (you can barely leave your house) and the whole town is afraid of another storm, even though that hasn't been ruled the cause of the disappearance. You live in fear that someone will figure it out, that someone can read your mind, and you'll be shipped away forever for thinking horrible thoughts.

0--0

When Kairi comes back you barely talk to her, crippled by the thought that maybe she knows you're the reason she disappeared in the first place. You aren't sure how you brought her back, but now you're committed to getting Sora and Riku back too.

0--0

You and Wakka rule the islet, laying down the law for all of the new children who venture there to play. Selphie's happy for a new generation of people to tell stories to, and Kairi doesn't come to the island. You miss her, but you can't help think that it's for the best, because if she does come then she's automatically the best, because she's perfect, even if she is a girl. That's the way it used to be, when Riku was around, but now neither of them are available, so you and Wakka can be in charge. You miss Riku, and wonder why something inside of you thinks it your fault that he's gone.

0--0

One day you wake up and you know something's different. Something inside of you is telling you that you'd better cherish your popularity because it won't last for long. You remember Sora, wonder when he's coming back, and ponder why you weren't worried sooner. You think that maybe now you can beat him, and almost Wakka, but still not Riku—you'll have to get even stronger.

Kairi spends her days writing letters, and doodling hearts, and sitting by herself. You've tried to cheer her up, but to no avail. Selphie's had no luck either, and Wakka can't impress her with his blitzball skills. You tell her that Sora and Riku will be back someday, because somehow you now know that they will, and Kairi just looks at you. She asks you how you're so sure, and you tell her, "Because Riku's the strongest, and Sora's second when he's lucky."

It makes Kairi laugh this little airy laugh out of nowhere, and for a minute you feel good, like maybe she can be your friend again.

0--0

Kairi tells you that Sora and Riku are tired, and they probably won't want to fight any time soon. You aren't stupid enough to challenge either of them, and you tell her as much. Kairi laughs, real and full this time, and reminds you that you bested Wakka yesterday. You puff out your chest in pride, and Selphie's beside you, ready to tell Kairi the story, even though Kairi was there. Wakka says that you're still a newbie at blitzball, and you laugh, because Riku and Kairi are still perfect, and Sora's still lucky, and Selphie still tells stories over and over, and Wakka still has nothing but ball on the brain, and you're somewhere in between all of them, thinking about loyalty among friends.

0FIN0

I've seen a lot of Selphie when the trio leaves, but not much Tidus and never any Wakka. Now I understand why. This was hard!

I hope it makes sense, and that it doesn't drag on and on. He's a hard character to grasp because there's not much about his KH self. Selphie's character is painfully obvious, while the boys keep themselves masked. I hope to do something like this for Wakka one day, but I doubt I ever will.

Please review and let me know if I got his character at all!


End file.
